He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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