I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Randomize
