Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
