My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
