Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
