I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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