No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I feel like abortions should bother me more
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Enjoy the penises
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
