who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
how does that bad decision feel?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
