I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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