even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
