yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
