I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
