just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i can't believe i had my finger in that
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
