we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
