Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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