Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
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