Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
