All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
