After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
