but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
