i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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