come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
