All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
