I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
