Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
