Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
