The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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