I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize