I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
