...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
