i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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