The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
