Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
