I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
