if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
