You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Holy shit dude........stairs
He has the fingertips of a God
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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