Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Randomize
