how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
