you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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