You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
