This girl is more easily done than said...
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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