He told me they were just razor bumps!
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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