I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
