we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
