I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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