Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
did i walk over a car last night?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize