no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
