I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
