Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
