I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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