well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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