Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
