I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize