No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We had to coat check the pizza.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
