I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
