How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
