At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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