About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
