i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
