Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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