Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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