He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
