Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
