Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
