I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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