He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
