I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
