oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Girls should come with a carfax report
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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