Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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