margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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