But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
