When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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