I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize
