I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
nutella sex= disaster
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Randomize
