lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
