What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
