I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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