I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
