eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
