covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
