wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize