im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
