You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
