I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
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