omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I need a beard to bite.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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