you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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